Comfortably Uncomfortable – How to Adjust to Simple Living

SOAKING WET SNEAKERS

As we walked home from the market, through Boston Common, we got soaked by the pouring rain. We were both carrying heavy, stuffed grocery bags. Water flooded down the steep Beacon Hills streets and flooded my sneakers. A wet pack of toilet paper kept slipping out from under my arm. Half an hour later I stepped into the hot shower. An irresistible smell of hot quiche filled the air in our 40 sq ft Boston apartment and I felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude. This feeling was kind of a reflection of another rainy day back in Chicago a few weeks earlier.

Boston Commons when it’s not raining

getting rid of useless baggage

The first few weeks in Chicago had been a bit of a challenge. Clearly, both Allan and I were dragging a bit of heavy baggage along on our journey. I had been so caught up in my own thoughts and feelings, and it took me a while to understand that I wasn’t the only one who didn’t sleep well at night. Allan worked way too much but never complained. However, from a mile away you could tell how he carried the weight of the world on his shoulders. Why did I presume, that these midlife changes only had an impact on me just because I was more outspoken about them?

A rainy day in Chicago

On our second Sunday, we decided to get out of the city. We brought our bikes along and headed towards Morton Arboretum to see an exhibit by installation artist Daniel Popper.

Soon after we had hit the trails it started pouring down and we took cover under some huge pine trees. Heavy raindrops tapped on the leaves and the water intensified a strong earthy scent. While taking shelter under the wet pine branches, something changed between us. All the tension and concern we had carried around for so long seemed to get flushed away by the water.

We were soaked to the skin and wet clothes were clinging to our bodies. In my case, I had streaks down my cheeks from a running mascara and tousled hair. At that point, I think we both felt liberated in a way we hadn’t felt for a while. We were miraculously transformed into a couple of teenagers, looked at each other, and started laughing about the whole situation. 

Finding cover from the rain at Morton Arboretum

Stuck in the mud

When we got back to our car it was stuck in the mud. Despite the pouring rain, friendly Midwesterners rushed over to help us push the dirty car out of the mud. Someone pointed at our license plate, and people started laughing, and bursting out loud: “Ahh you’re from California! That’s why you don’t have four-wheel drive…! It was a cold and wet drive back to the city but somehow that trip had brightened our outlook and lifted a bit of the weight off our shoulders.

The idea is to live your life in a way that makes you feel lit up. Alive. Full fledged. Beautiful. Know and find what nourishes you inside out, bones to skin and then build your world from that alone. All else is not part of your revolution. Or your ultimate evolution.

– Victoria Erickson

a tiny Boston apartment

From Chicago to Boston, where we moved into a place seven times smaller than our house in California. A long, narrow hallway took up most of the space. It turned out to be very useful since we didn’t have any other storage space in the apartment. I didn’t realize the apartment was that small when I booked it. It just looked like a really cute, typical Boston-style apartment in a great location.

Allan was horrified when he saw the place and was convinced there was no way it would work out. “Everything will be okay”, I said. “It will be the ultimate marriage test” I joked, trying to hide that I shared the same concern. However, most things have a way of working themselves out if you let them.

Our tiny Boston apartment with a long and narrow hallway

adjusting

When Allan and I were on the phone at the same time, I would sit on a small pillow at the far end of the narrow hallway. This was the only way we wouldn’t disturb each other. The apartment didn’t have a washer or dryer. However, there were quite a few Laundromats in the neighborhood, and I was up for a trip outside my comfort zone. When I used the toilet or took a shower, I had to plan around Allan’s conference calls. Nothing went unnoticed between the bathroom and the bedroom, where he would work at his portable folding table. 

And being flexible

We didn’t have any hot water for a couple of days, and the heating system had a mind of its own. At the beginning of our stay, we were freezing. Finally, they removed the AC unit hanging out from the living room window and turned the central heating on in the building. Then, for a while, it was impossible to adjust or turn off the radiator in the apartment. One day we had to take off all our clothes and leave the windows open all night. Just to get some ice-cold November air into the apartment so we wouldn’t get a heat stroke. 

Brattle bookstore, and tree-lined streets in Beacon Hills

feeling grateful

Life wasn’t always easy but at the same time, it was a fun and simple way of living, and we were “comfortably uncomfortable”. Sometimes it even felt like we had been granted the gift of reliving the early stages of our relationship. All we could do was laugh about the little incidents, and somehow life felt a little more carefree and less stressful. I appreciated how far we had come since that liberating day under the pine trees in Chicago. For not taking anything for granted, for enjoying the simple life, and for all the amazing experiences we’d had the last few months.

Our relationship had survived the big and small bumps on the way and seemed stronger than ever. We were so lucky to live in one of the prettiest neighborhoods in Boston, even just for a short time and on a rainy day. It was a simpler but more nuanced life which truly enabled us to embrace and appreciate everything around us. Like the way it made me smile every time Allan insisted on lying down on the small two-seater in the living room. His long legs hanging down from the armrest, touching the floor. Or how much better a hot shower feels when you are wet and cold from the pouring rain. 

a simpler life

Do I recommend that we all move into tiny one-bedroom apartments in midlife? Certainly not! We made it work for us but there are lots of ways to live a simpler lifestyle. Making small adjustments to our way of living can turn out to have more benefits than we imagined. The things we built up and spent our money on throughout a lifetime served us well but may not fit our future goals and dreams.

potential benefits

An important thing to notice is that simplifying your life doesn’t mean that it will be reduced to something “less valuable”. In fact, here is a list of potential benefits from simplifying your life.

• Clarity: Simplifying can make it easier to focus on what truly matters in our life, like relationships, health, and less stress. It allows for a clearer perspective on goals and priorities.
• Finance: Simplicity often means spending less money on material things. Less unnecessary spending can lead to greater financial stability and freedom.
• Fulfillment: Finding a balance between actions and values. Reconnecting with what matters in life can lead to a greater sense of fulfillment and purpose.
• Health: A simpler lifestyle can promote healthier habits. It often means having more energy and time to spend outdoors, engage in physical activities, focus on diet, and do the things we love.
• Mindfulness: Living simply can encourage a more mindful existence., This means being fully aware and paying attention to the present moment with openness, curiosity, and acceptance to avoid being consumed by worries and regrets.
• Relationships: A simpler life creates more time and space to nurture meaningful relationships. Letting go of relationships that are emotionally or mentally draining and no longer serve you, can be a way to simplify your life.
• Self-care: Again, simplifying your life allows for more time to prioritize personal needs for relaxation, personal growth, creativity, self-expression, exercise, and hobbies.  
• Stress: Fewer responsibilities, less clutter, and a more manageable schedule can minimize stress and be the result of simplifying your life.

Read more about how to navigate midlife